Friday, 06 June 2008

  • covered life


    “COVERED LIFE”

    It is hard to live when you are living in the right side of your life but when you turn in the left side other things bothered me. I don’t know what will I do, should I keep on living or shall stop in facing them. I’m terrified of what will be the consequences, if it will be desirable or it will make worst. I’ve been searching of what the world is, but I couldn’t initiate the answer, then I question myself, why does it happen to me? Is there something wrong with me or I am just idiot. I couldn’t figure out any bright side of my life, it’s very rigid when there is no one holding the light, but my question, who is he? Do I know him? Searching for nothing is impossible, it will be boring or it’s just wasting time. I need someone that will seal my loneliness. No one cares me, they ignored me, no one greet me happy birthday, I’m alone in this world. I want to detach myself from this rutted world. I hate this world, no one loves me. Why I am like this? Ohh! I don’t know what will I do? I tried to look at myself in the mirror but I couldn’t see any image, am I blind? Or I’m just pretending. I want to open my eyes and see the sights of the typical life but I could not. I question a lot about these worldly things, what is really my purpose in this world? It’s hard to think of. I’ve been a foolish person in my whole life, spending life with nothing, its damm!!! No one desires to heed my feelings. But I will not give up, just smile; coz when you smile there is hope. These are the words that I kept in my mind and my heart. But it’s not sufficient; something is missing, but whom?

    “You will not see me but I see you, I know where you are and all of what you have” it’s incredible when non-Christian will hear these words especially the atheist, as what they said it’s sacrilege. Oh!! It’s you Jesus my God. And he told me you are not alone, I’m always in your side just call me then I will be always at your back. My God help me!!!! When I’m down he lift me up, when I’m sad he send me a smile. He cares me as what my parent did when I’m young, how I wish that they are always in my side but it’s unfeasible coz someday they will left this world. Jesus helps me a lot in times of struggle he is always there. I praise Jesus Christ whom I trust him so much. My God gives me sunshine and color of my life. Now, I’m so in love with him. He teaches me a lot of good stuff; it’s very hard to follow him for I will relinquish everything especially those horrific behaviors I had. Masturbation it’s hard to let go but I will not allow the temptation to overcome me. I will allow Jesus Christ to build my life coz I’m sure that I will be more rewarding and deserving in this world coz I am able to allocate his words to the people, until I die.

    My world begins to revolve around the sun capturing the rays of the sunlight. It starts to grow and now it’s abundant in fruits. I’m so happy for where I am now; I learn to appreciate simple things as of now. I become wiser than before, and capable in dealing with life. Even though sometimes I fail but my faith stand after I failed. I want to become unique for others the way I behave and think. I want to extend my self in the way how I think. To overcome myself as what I am now. I want to have other perceptions in the way I think. But these are the things that somehow depart my self from god because I am self-centered person. So that’s life we couldn’t escape from the fact coz it’s the fact but somehow it teaches us from our past experience. As what they said if there is north there is south. Uncover the covered life so that u will find the real you!!!



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